Tuesday, March 19, 2013

In The Moment

I am crocheting on a real snow day.  The snow is beautiful and white and fluffy and late in the season.  In a few days it will be gone but in this moment I am enjoying the beauty of the moment and the roof over my head.  The feel of my crochet needle as the thread becomes a dress for a precious little baby who has been a dream and now is a reality.  In this moment, nothing else exists.  It’s a great day.

I have been one who has lived in the past for so long; it is nice to be in this moment in this place watching the snow falling down.  It is nice to put the past behind me and not worrying about the future in this moment.  It may not last but for the moment it is beautiful.

Speaking of the past, it is time to deal with your demons.  Take them on and try to rid yourself of the power they hold over you.  It may not be easy, it fact it is quite painful but once you do it, the pain disappears and then you can decide what to replace it with(a work in progress) but that is tomorrow’s moment.

Enjoy the snow or the sunshine or whatever is happening in your moment.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Rambling (wo)man

Been a while again.  A lot going on.  I moved again.  I missed my son so I moved closer to be near him.  Moving 4 times in 6 months not so cool but I think this time I might be in the right place at the right time.  Sometimes you have to fail at something several times before you realize that if the reason you are staying in a region is to be closer to your son, then you should just move closer to your son.

I'm being rewarded with quiet, just peaceful quiet.  Makes it so much easier to sleep, to think, to be.  My last apartment was beautiful, really beautiful but it was very loud. I'm grateful because I learned how to be alone and I did a lot of soul work there.  After always being taken care of it is kind of frightening and fearful to be out on your own for the first time, a voice in your head tells you all the things you don't really want to think about yourself.  But then you get to work those thoughts through and I am hopeful I came out the other side.

I recommend going silent and going into the pain to work out your demons.  I still have moments but they are only moments compared to months in the past. 

I also got a job.  I'm teaching science experiments to elementary school students part time and having a blast.  I love kids.  I wish I could say I'm getting a lot of embroidering and done but moving and starting a new job takes a lot out of you.  It's starting to quiet down so perhaps now in a new place with a new state of mind I can find some of those answers to the most pressing of questions and get some work done. 

I'm sure this isn't the last time I'll move but for the near future the only way out is the man of my dreams or a body bag.  I'm secretly wishing for the man of my dreams and trying to avoid the body bag.  Hopefully I'll be back with some new work soon.