Friday, September 27, 2013

Surrender

All attempts to get a "real" life are failing, so I am surrendering to the stitch.  This is the Long and Winding Road, I've been working on it for a couple of days trying desperately to get into ornament mode.  Resistance is futile. 

Seriously all attempts at trying to find a real life are failing.  A man(online dating sucks), a job(just too many people with "real" experience looking for them), writing a novel(or a song, a poem or a to do list). Fail, fail, fail.  So I'm going to turn off my computer(good idea Deb) and hand embroider. 

I'm surrendering to the big kahuna in the sky and praying that an answer will drop down and take hold soon but in the meantime I am doing my version of gone fishing.  Gone embroidering, see you soon.

P.S. BTW the writing is sort of coming back I am able to make jokes about my plight so that is an improvement.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Lotus

Lotus
 
Breathe in, breathe out
The beauty of the petals
Floating on the water peacefully.
 
Breathe in, breathe out
Peacefulness, peacefulness
In and Out
Clarity
 
A simple little lotus
Blossoming on the water
Breathe in, breathe out
Peace.
 
 

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Just to Let You Know I'm Here

Moving along on the long and winding road, slowly but surely.  I am having a really hard time with loneliness lately. A really hard time.  No matter how hard I try I can't seem to shake this lonely feeling.  I'm sure I'm not the only one, in fact I'm pretty sure all of us is lonely at one time or another.  We all need someone to talk to and sometimes there is just nobody around. 

So I've decided to offer my services or my ear(or in this case my eyes).  If you are feeling lonely and need an ear(or eyes) you can email me.  I promise to write back even if it is only to tell  you everything will be allright.  Please don't get too specific(especially if there are gory details), don't send me pictures of your private parts(I'm not interested and once you've seen one you've seen them all), but if you need to know you have a friend you have one.  I like everybody until I'm given a reason not to. 

My email address is tanglestitch813@gmail.com.  Please don't send me anything I'm going to have nightmares over I have enough of them already.  This is an experiment.  If this doesn't work out I'm going to have to shut down my email address it is strictly for this purpose anyway.  I am putting this into the hands of God and hoping it will work.  If you read my blog you know that I am of the attitude that if my words help one person feel less alone I have done my job.  We are all connected and there are always times when one person and a it's going to be ok can make a difference.

If you would like me to do custom embroidery work or would like to purchase something you see on my blog you can do that also by contacting this email address. 

Monday, September 16, 2013

Peace

This piece is available at Valley Artisans Market in Cambridge, NY.

I've been working on peace ornaments and peace pillows trying to bring myself some peace the last few days.  It has not been easy but try I must.  I believe the world is in a whole heap of trouble and we need to end the chaos within ourselves to fix it.  I don't watch the news anymore.  I monitor very carefully what I let in, but you really can't avoid what is going on unless you live in a cave in the middle of nowhere or a Tibetan mountaintop.

The latest is yet another mass shooting.  Why do these things happen?  I will never know, we can blame it on guns, we can blame it on mental illness or we can blame it on ourselves.  We are a society that likes our toys and our beliefs and when the two mesh together bedlam occurs.  But we are the masters of our own ship, the captains of our destiny.  At least that is what we wish for, but how many people live the life they've imagined?

We grow up with dreams and ideals and then we let them slide while we look for a real job so we can be productive.  Where has that lead us?  To rampant unemployment and the biggest gap between the rich and the poor in history.  What does that do to our countrymen?  It makes them lose hope, lose faith, lose their self esteem and move into a never ending cycle of not having enough, not being enough.

Our kids learned this from us too.   I think youthful optimism is still available and I know I am youthfully optimistic even though I'm a realist along with being an idealist.  But so many people who have played by the rules, gotten a job, gotten married, had the children, the white picket fence are watching it disappear and they just can't handle it.  Who can they blame?  I guess it's easy to blame the non documented workers that took their laboring jobs or the companies that outsource their jobs to countries which don't play the same rules the United States does, but it's actually bigger than that it's self responsibility.  We shop in Walmart, we eat animals manufactured specifically to be killed(could you eat the family dog), we allow poisons to be rained down on us to kill the mosquitos, we hang onto our guns for hope that if the government or a rampant gang of terrorists might come knocking at our door we will be ready.  But are we ready?  No not even close, all we are doing is killing ourselves, killing the environment, and creating an anxiety ridden society who is one crisis away from shooting up another building and unfortunately we have the guns to do it. 

I want to be optimistic, I want to be at peace but I'm an empath so even if I don't watch the news, or don't read the newspaper I feel the chaos of the world inside myself.  I hear the voices of my friends and countrymen who wonder what will happen to them if they lose their job?  What will happen to their kids if the economy doesn't improve?  What will happen if a flood takes away their home or if we end up in yet another endless war.  Since 9/11/2001 everything seems like an endless war and we've made everyone else the enemy, but the truth is we are the enemy.  We allow it to happen.  We look at others who haven't coped and we pass judgment.  But sooner or later that other will be us, we are all in this together.  There are not enough toys or drugs to save us from ourselves.  We have to do it ourselves.

When the constitution was written it didn't take into account all the changes in technology and weaponry that make this world dangerous at times.  Nobody writing the constitution imagined a gun that could kill 20 schoolchildren in a matter of minutes.  Nobody imagined technology that could make it rain or forecast the rain.  Nobody imagined all the toxins available to kill all the bugs or make chickens big enough to feed millions.  We let ourselves get carried away and now we are paying the price for it.  It's time to be simple again.  To look in the mirror and say let's just be peaceful today and do something that makes us happy and peaceful, no matter what that is.

I'm off the soapbox, nobody reads this stuff anyway.  But now I'm going to hand embroider and bring a little more peace into my own life so I can practice what I preach.  Find love, find peace, be happy.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

An Update on the Long and Winding Road

The long and winding road that leads to your door
Will never disappear
I've seen that road before it always leads me here
Leads me to your door
 
 
That is how I feel about hand embroidery and needlecrafts in general. No matter what is going on in my life, working is where I can shut out the noise and find peace.  It may not be brain surgery or add anything to anyone else's life but anything that brings us peace brings peace to the world.  If enough of us look for peaceful outlets maybe we can change the world.
 
I have recently gotten involved with a wonderful project that shows that if enough people get together and meditate truly wonderful things can happen called The Albany Peace Project.  They are trying to lower the crime rate in Albany NY using the power of prayer and meditation.  I am so looking forward to this project and hope and expect to find that this wonderful intention will work.  If you are interested in learning how to meditate and improve your life and be part of a wonderful experiment, you can find more at http://albanypeaceproject.com/
 
 
If you would like to learn hand embroidery and find your peace that way you can always contact me and we can find peace together.  I give private lessons, finish projects and do commission work.  Peace is always the answer especially in a world so fraught with pain, find something that brings you peace and do it often.
 
In case you live under a rock and have never heard of the Beatles, the words below the picture of my work are the words from the Long and Winding Road.  Go to you tube and find any one of hundred versions of this beautiful song.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Spring Tree

Yes I know that it is fall but somehow a spring tree is where my head is today. Spring is a time of new beginnings.  A break with the past, a sprouting of new ideas and new attitudes. So for just this one moment on this one day it is spring.  I am filled with the possibilities of a life lived my own way.  I'm not sure it will stick or work but I do know I'm going to try to make my dreams a reality. 

For the last few months I've been trying to find a way to escape reality.  Traveling down south which was just wonderful.  The food, the sun, the people.  Mostly the food, I went with my cousin who loves to eat and she converted me to the foodie way of life.  I've had lots of wonderful visitors too who reminded me of all the fun I can have here.  Mostly I've been trying to find a new man in my life, one to replace the imaginary one and to make me forget the mess my marriage was before it ended.  Not doing so well on that count and maybe that's a blessing.  I've come to realize better to find yourself before you find a man otherwise you will just find somebody as conflicted as you are.

So now it is back to the drawing board, I am going to embroider my way out of this.  I embroidered this crazy cocoon I can embroider myself out of it.  I know my blog is not your ordinary embroidery blog and I tried to keep my feelings and stories to myself but it just didn't work.  I wrote nothing, I filtered myself so much I couldn't write a word so if you don't like reading my blog, don't read it. 

I'm complicated and hand embroidery is how I keep myself sane.  It is my antidepressant.  I'm also going to reintroduce happy bags bag into my life and hopefully I can find people who find joy in what I do.  I wish I were a nurse or a self help guru or somebody who could save the world but all I  am is a simple hand embroidery/fiber artist who is trying to find her way out of mental illness and a life of trauma without drugs. Up until the last year and a half I thought I was a light so perhaps by going backwards a bit I can find the light and share it again. 

I hope you have a great day and stay tuned.  I am reopening my Etsy shop for real, but I do have responsibilities in the real world that I must attend to first.  Have a great day, a spring day in the early days of fall.

P.S.  If anything I write about my own life makes even one person out there feel less alone than I have done my job here on earth.  We are all mirrors of each other and we all must learn to shine.