I know this is an art blog (or that is my intention anyway) but I am going to wax philosophically today anyway. Hope is a very important word, not just when you are in the black whole but even when you are climbing out of it.
This past year has been such a year of hope and transformation. I have gone from a woman completely unaware of my talents(at least some of them anyway)to a woman who can look back and say I like who I am and I really don't care who likes me this way or not. I have a wonderful, wonderful friend Emily who is the best friend I have probably ever had in my life. She has been one of those unconditional friends who you feel you can trust with your secrets who loves you in spite of all your warts. I feel the same way about her.
In the past year I have belonged to Strolling Village Artisans in Ballston Spa. I have learned so much from being around and working with such interesting talented people. Not only have I figured out that I am an artist but I have unearthed parts of my survivor and parts of my strength from being around so many strong independent women. I have also discovered that my one true love in the needlecrafting world is my love of hand embroidery and how it brings me right down to my center. Along with my love of hand embroidery I have learned the love of color and texture and complexity which I bring to the hand knitted handbags or crochet cotton handbags. As an artist I feel my growth has been tremendous but alas I realize that I may still have a bit to go.
In the past year, I think my relationship with my husband and my son has gotten better. My husband is my anchor, the practical one who always tries to watch out for the landmines I set for myself. I was not an easy person to live with for such a long time and yet we are still together and I think I would say we love each other more today then we did when we married 20 years ago. My son is just my sunshine. The reason I wake up every single morning. The beginning of my story and the end of my tragedies. I know that when I am gone he will know how much he is loved because I tell him every opportunity I get. Nothing will ever change that. He is my greatest treasure.
I guess the biggest change in the last year is that I have realized that I am an empathetic intuitive and I must protect myself from carrying baggage that isn't mine to carry. I've just recently discovered how much this has affected my life both positively and negatively. It has allowed me the opportunity to make every person I come in contact with feel like they are not alone, but it has also affected me in the reverse I tend to carry other people's baggage because I feel their pain through my senses. Part of me wishes that part of being an empathetic intuitive would leave me but then I probably wouldn't be able to make other people feel comfortable or wanted. IMO there aren't enough of us in the world.
Finally I have been able to learn how to express myself. At the moment I express myself much better through my art then I do through my mouth, but now that I am aware that being closed up has not served me well I must open my heart and my mouth and my embroidery needles and live the life I've imagined.
My favorite saying is For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. I have shared with you today where my hearts and treasures are. Please find your own hope and be happy and stitch! Life and time with the people we love are much too short enjoy them.