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Showing posts from February, 2013

Layla

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Only Human

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January 13, 2013 and February 22, 2013

Because I have outed myself as a hand embroidery artist and a writer I have been feeling quite down on myself lately because I have not figured out how to make a living doing what I love, berating myself for not working and writing my blog more.For a while to me anyway it seemed I was more interested in the pie than anything else so much though I thought of changing my blog to a food blog.
But when you move to a quiet little town in the middle of the winter you have to invent places to go to see people and what better way than eating, so a couple of weeks ago I decided to stop eating my way through Cambridge and start working.That made it easier and also harder because than I had to produce something.
I work so much better with music blaring in my eardrums but my inner critic wanted me to figure myself out so I sometimes labored and I do mean labored through my work thinking I was stuck so far in the mud I would never get out.What can I say I’m …

Feed the Children

I was on Beliefnet this morning and  in answering a post I realized that the issue of poverty really starts with the cycle of poverty we hear so much about.  It is said that nothing about poverty ever changes and in a way that is correct, because we as a society look at people who live in poverty as somehow less than and somehow they brought their own troubles upon themselves by not working and not being productive members of society.  It's garbage but still it's out there.

Many times it is because of a lack of education, a lack of nutrition, a lack of a good role model.  Adults can usually take care of themselves unless they have gotten tired of trying to figure out how and have given up.  Children however are not responsible for their parents sins.  But somehow if they live in a poverty stricken neighborhood they pay for it anyway.  All over the United States schools are cutting funding for the arts and sports, before school programs and after school programs.  Sometimes the…

Bluebird

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Still on the Long and Winding Road, wanted a few bluebirds of happiness with me so I added them to the piece.  I've made a commitment to make this the main piece I'm working on since I seem to lose myself in it. I've also made a commitment to the blog to update it every so often even if I am still quite blocked.

The journey to a new life starts with a single step, at the moment all I can step onto is the Long and Winding Road which hopefully will lead me to where ever my dreams lie.  I'm a bit more unsure about my path than I was a few months ago.  I seem to be more obsessed with food and feeding people than I am about anything else(not sure if that is good or bad) but it is what it is.  By the way if you are up near Cambridge you must go to Bensons and have a piece of pie made from scratch or the 5 year old aged Gouda from the food coop on Main Street.  To die for.

I found this cool song by Buffalo Springfield called very appropriately Blackbird. Very long but quite …

The Musician

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Passion

Watching the Grammys last night I was struck by how much one has to give up to do something they love, nobody embodies that more than the musician who spends years on the road away from their families and their things and the people they love to provide us with music that soothes our soul and becomes the soundtrack we live our lives to.
Even the overnight success doesn’t get there by picking up an instrument and playing, there are years of practice and growth and learning.There are years of leaving their parents, their spouses and their children.Some are lucky and they get to do it in luxury but for the most part it is a path filled with traveling across the country and the world dealing with drunken people at 2 in the morning.It is the emptiness of coming home to an empty hotel room or giving into the all too available vices which probably add to the loneliness and heartache.And yet they do it, day after day, year after year.They love their music so much as to give up their v…

Smokestack Lightning

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A new tote for Valley Artisans Market

It’s been quite a week, opening myself up to life again that is.I went to the love Art in the Public Eye event in Glens Falls on Thursday.There was a band and good food provided by Samantha’s Café and beautiful, beautiful art.I met a lovely mosaic artist who inspired me to get back to work, a lovely woman who is making a beginning making scarves and baby blankets which reminds me of my roots, and a lovely photographer who made me look at the ordinary in an extraordinary way.A new beginning inspired by art, a call to remember the things I know I love and maybe open up to a few new ways to express myself.
Friday I went down to Albany to work the telephones at WAMC fund drive.Public radio is really the only place where some can find those subjects and music that can’t be found anywhere else.It was so much fun, the food was great and it felt wonderful to be doing something helpful for the arts.I met some really great people and to be honest I didn’t …

Just Embroidery

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Some days all we can do is try.  I am trying some tote bags today.  This is the morning view, the afternoon view is a little bit better but not yet there yet so I'll share it when it's finished.

Sometimes in life we have to go back to our version of comfort food, hand embroidery and crackers and cheese are my comfort food of the moment.  Embroidering is still one of the only things that can get me out of my head and into the vortex(or that moment of illusive peace in which all the answers of the universe come clearly into view, I'm still waiting for that one).

I wish I could say I have an answer for what I want to be when I grow up(yes I am aware I am already a grown up) but I don't.  For the last 21 years I've been a mother and everything else in my life revolved around that one job.  Now I'm divorced, living by myself for the first time, contemplating a future filled with uncertainty and I can't even focus on embroidery my other love.  Should I get a cra…

Tying up Loose Ends

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I finished both these pieces over the weekend, the top is a piece for the Valley Artisans Market wheels show and the second is lovely scarf which looks so much better in person.  I have to go take a photography class one of these days.

It seems I am tying up loose ends in my personal life too as my divorce is final and I have to make some decisions in my life.   I still don't really know which end is up but I've  decided to keep on working and hoping that the answers will come. I still haven't really figured out a way to make my dreams come true, but if I don't work towards them they never will.  I've taken some really solid steps in moving forward but no clear direction is taking hold which means I have to kind of leave this one up to God and just keep on taking some sort of action every day.I have to have faith that the answer and some peace of mind will come along sooner or later. 

I'm still in the process of letting go, when you live your entire life bein…

Working

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This is an unframed peacock for an upcoming show. 

I am working again, pretty much every single day. I"m still having a bit of an issue writing but that seems to be getting a little better too.  At the moment I am working on a piece for the Valley Artisans Market Wheel Show and hope to finish that today.  I set a goal of yesterday and somehow fell a little short.  But goals are there for a reason so today is another day.

I'm trying to give myself a break, my beloved dog just died.  My marriage is over and I have to figure out the answers to many questions in my life.  Sometimes there are just too many questions so I've decided all I can do is work and write and hope for the best.  I'm looking for a job but I really have no idea what kind of job I wish to do other than being an artist and a writer(and an indian chief).  I want to go back to school but then again what for?  When you have been a mother for 21 years with a little retail on the side your life is not exact…