Thursday, December 27, 2007

I Want Peace!

Usually I don't talk politics on my blog because my life and my work are more important to me. Today as a New Yorker who uprooted myself and my family after 9/11 I am speaking from a more reflective and fearful place then I usually write from.

I have to admit I know very little about Pakistani politics, except that Ms. Bhutto was supposed to be a conduit for democracy and moderation in that crazy place Osama Bin Laden has called home for the last so many years. The fact that OBL had made her a target so soon after she returned to her country(and failed) meant that perhaps she was a person who was capable of change. And then today happened. It may have been Musharaff or someone else not connected to AQ but that is rather unlikely. So OBL has struck again. And I am afraid again.

It seems a lot of the last 6 years have been spent in fear and anticipation of loss. The wars, the London train bombing, the videotapes. Everything propagates that fear. Will I lose someone I know? I have been very lucky. I only knew a few acquaintances not friends who were lost on 9/11 but I used to have the habit of reading obituaries when I was a kid and an adult. That changed on 9/11. It is very painful to read hundreds of obituaries a day instead of one or two.

I have to be honest I wanted to move before 9/11, very badly wasn't really a city mouse. I was a country mouse. But after 9/11 everyone I loved wanted me to move. My husband worked downtown and although he was a few blocks away on that day, he did end up walking over the bridge and coming home with dust of humans all over his shoes. My only saving grace is that he was home before my son came home from school. My son had a girl in his class that lost her father and a boy on his baseball team who also lost his father. I was so glad I did not have to explain where my husband was. It was awful living down there the grief and sadness was palpable and everywhere. I put my faith in god and somehow was lucky enough to have my dream and move to my place of peace. Everytime I reached an obstacle a little sign would let me know I was on my journey to peace.

In the last 5 years that I have lived here I have found peace everywhere. I have wonderful friends, my family is happy and safe, I have discovered I am an artist but yet on a day like today I go back to 9/11 and wonder.

I wonder if we will ever have peace. I wonder if we will ever have a leader who leads with brains and diplomacy instead of the same old, same old. A lot of the people with so called experience took our troops out of Afganistan and put them in Iraq. Now they are supposedly going to benefit from the horrible news of today and I wonder if anybody in Washington has been paying attention and gives a darn about the people they serve. I'm pretty much anti war, but I have to admit after 9/11 I saw the purpose in Afganistan and going after Bin Laden. I knew before Iraq that it wasn't really part of the war on terror, evidently the oh so experienced candidates didn't see it my way. Which to this day always begs the question that if I a meager housewife living in upstate New York with a limited knowledge of terrorists and muslim culture could figure out that Iraq was a wrong turn why didn't those so called brains running the country figure it out?

So that leaves us with now. What happens? Are we into yet another war? Are we on the verge of another attack? Will the terrorists get the nukes? I'm afraid and all I can think is I want peace. Hopefully by the next time we meet I will be able to write about wonderful hand embroidery and wonderful thoughts for the new year but today all I can say is I want peace!


Jennifer said...

I want peace too!!! I wish there was an easy answer. Things just seem to be getting messier and messier.

Sorry that your husband had to go through 9/11 - we had a pretty bad experience that day too - my husband was on the 83rd floor that day (it was his company that he started up). My husband and everyone there that day were very lucky - they got out just in the nick of time - he was a block away when the building came down. Lots of horrific stories. Our town was hit pretty hard - alot of people died - a few of my son's classmates fathers died and one of our neighbors and others in our town as well. The whole thing is still so sad to this day.

Thanks for visiting my blog the other day and for your sweet comments about "my" dollhouse - the girls are really having a lot of fun with it.

dianeclancy said...

I want peace too ... I am tired of leaders almost everywhere concerned about their power rather than SERVING the people! I am glad you have found situational peace. I am a country mouse too.

~ Diane Clancy

tangled stitch said...

Thanks for commenting. No more politics for a while. Disrupts my apple part. Hopefully the universe will cooperate and 2008 will be less tumultous then 2007. Happy Peaceful New Year everyone!

Michelle said...

I ignore the news and I try very hard to ignore politics. I need peace in my heart, and all the turmoil in the world interrupts that (is that not the number one most selfish sentence you've ever read??).

I hope you get back to peace.


tangled stitch said...

Michelle, it is never selfish to wish peace for yourself or anyone else. It's a gift and self preservation. Perhaps if more people looked for peace inside themselves and their lives we wouldn't be having this discussion in the first place!

Have a peaceful and joyous New Year!

Anonymous said...

Oh, this post hit such a nerve with me! I want peace so badly too, but our world seems to be going in the other direction. It seems like it is getting worse and worse. I can't wait until election day, and I hope and pray the country can start going in a new direction. If that is possible. Sometimes, you wonder if we have reached the point of no return. That is depressing, I know, but so true.

My children remember 911 so clearly, and still can't see a plane flying a little low, without going back to that awful day. My 12 year old started panicing in a crowded shopping mall the other day, afraid of a shooting or a bomb going off. No wonder there is so much more anxiety with children.....
Anyway, I pray a lot, try to go to the peaceful Peace Rallys and write my letters to my congressmen. In the big picture, I feel so helpless.

Thanks for letting me vent. I just have been holding that in for a while and I really related to what you were saying.


tangled stitch said...

Eileen, I know what you mean. 9/11 is a day I try hard to forget but I can't. I so hope the country will go in a more peaceful direction in 2008. God bless for your comments.