Thursday, October 22, 2009


This is an earlier piece of hand embroidery. It is called life lines. Right now my lines are a little tangled and my brain is a little foggy. I had a delicious cinnamon bun thing which made me hyper after I ate it and now I'm sleepy and tired(which might be a good thing) and I have a massive headache(which is a not so good thing).

I have been having so many dreams lately. Both the sleep kind and the awake kind. But even my dreams are intersecting at the moment. At least once a week or sometimes even more I wake up from a dream feeling like I lost something. I never remember what it is I lost and it has gotten so bad that I am now waking my husband up when I wake up in a start. So today armed with a sugar high I went and researched what dreams of loss mean. Two things it seems. Dealing with a great transition in your life and that is certainly true with all the changes in my life, in my body, in my relationships and in my work. The other meaning is a fear of success and to be truthful I think the second of the interpretations is the more accurate one. I don't seem able to stop myself from naysaying and overanalyzing everything from my life, to my work, to how to sell my work, etc.etc.etc.

I don't seem able to handle chaos anymore and I'm thinking chaos is one of the ways that I am holding myself back. I don't necessarily want to become anally retentive about organization but I do want to lose the feeling that I am lost, or that whatever I have lost is haunting me in my dreams. I have a wonderful friend who is the best at organization and having a wonderfully striving art business and whenever I am with her(she is th friend I ate my wonderful sugary concoction with today, poor thing) I wish I could be more like her. She seems like she is very sure of her destination and she has a plan to get there. Maybe I need a plan or a personal organizer or maybe just the thought of being in the moment and dealing with the subject at hand. I love to read spiritual books and many of them stress living in the now.

So here I am at the moment, head throbbing and I am contemplating NOW. Contemplating getting my mind and my home and my body organized(I think I've figured out the body one read yesterdays entry). So I'll let you know how it's going and tomorrow I will visit all my bloggy friends. Pick one of them and read their blogs they inspire me and I'm sure they will inspire you too. Thanks for reading and if you have any clue about what my dreams of loss are or want to agree with the two meanings I've found please feel free to comment. Keep stitching.


lee said...

I know that when I lost my sister, first I could never sleep, second when I did all I did was dream I was searching for her, the same dream every night....finally I had to go to the doctor, and truthfully I was depressed (I dont mean you are) about my life, my lose of a beloved sister, work, my mother, responsibility...on and on, and she put me on pills which I am still on, part menopause as well, and truthfully I finally feel like my old self after 2 years. No easy cure apparently.

tangled stitch said...

Thank you for your post. I think maybe perhaps I was depressed when it started but I think it's more the menopause now. I started exercising again to see if that helps so I'll let you know.