Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Anabora

Let me introduce my goddess, Anabora.  She was made a few years ago and stayed mostly folded in a drawer since her creation.  But somehow overcoming the month of March has made me want to frame her and share her and some of the things she stands for.

She stands for hand embroidery, as I love to embroider just for the love of it more than anything in the world besides my son.  She stands for motherhood and unconditional love.  I know there is nothing my son could ever do to me that I would not forgive him for he is the sun in my universe.  The reason I wake up every single morning just to be his mother.

She stands for light in the darkness.  For the life of me I don't remember why I decided to embroider her on black but she seems very suited for the DebraAnn I see today.  March was one of the darkest months I've ever had in my life.  One of those dark months of the soul(actually more like two weeks but not really relevant at this point).  There are so many people who just live in darkness and wish they could find the light and sometimes like myself when you come out of a really dark place you realize you had the light all along and just didn't know it.

She stands for love.  There are so many things I love, some of the most important ones are family, friends, hand embroidery, art, music, laughter.  It's written on the top of my blog but I really do live and love to be inspired. 

She stands for friendship.  I have been so blessed to have the most amazing friends all throughtout my life.  I have needed them so much in the last month and every single one of them has given me nothing but love and concern and they have just taken care of me.  I don't know where I would be at this moment if there were not some beacon of light coming from at least one of them during this dark period.  I hope to return the favor to each and every one of them and I am always available to listen to whatever it is they need to say.

She stands for family and the legacy left to her by all the women in her life when she was growing up.  My mother was this wonderful unconditionally loving mother.  She was a frustrated artist so she has given me the greatest gift, the ability to go after my dream and not be dissuaded.  She also taught me so much about culture by letting me read what I wanted to read, see movies I wanted to see, to listen and dance to the music I wanted to listen to.  I guess she had a belief that sooner or later I would find the classics and she was right. I was so blessed to have her even though she was not in my life hardly long enough.

 My grandmothers who taught me the true meaning of family, love and acceptance.  My grandmother Lucy was just the most wonderful person.  She was outspoken and loving and generous.  I adored her.  And my grandmother Bertha who taught me everything I know about my craft. She was such a sweet, kindly woman who lived over a church.  There is definitely some kind of symbolism to that. And my wonderful aunts and cousins who just taught me how to love.

This is about goddesses so men talk is prohibited in this post except for my beloved sun.

And finally she stands for acceptance.  I spent so much of my life bemoaning my big hips and my big butt.  They have always been there, nothing can really be done except painful procedures so there they are and there they will always be.  I also spent so much  time bemoaning the fact that I was not "normal" only to find that there really isn't a normal.  Nobody is normal, some people just haven't figured that out for  themselves yet. 

I also have to accept the choices I made, some of them have been doozies to be quite honest but we can't turn back the clock and make it all go away nor can we expect that a man, any man has all the answers for us.  I have gotten in so much trouble as of late waiting for my prince charming. I'm finally ready to move on to my dreams and if there is a prince charming waiting for me I will be gloriously happy, if not  by myself I will still be gloriously happy.

As women we are brought up to believe we need a man to take care of us.  But in the end if we  are truthful with ourselves, we end up taking care of them and our children and our jobs and whatever else we goddesses do without even giving a thought to what we want waiting for us at the end of our day. 

As a goddess I want a cottage by the sea, to be an artist,  to be able to live without financial worry with just enough to pay my bills.  And of course to be able to embroider and follow my dreams whereever they take me.

Now I have to as my own goddess get back to work on my dreams and where I want to go and stop talking and just start doing.  Find your Anabora, your embroidery and the music that rocks your world.  Fairy tales can come true it can happen to you if you're young at heart.


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