The last few months, years or a lifetime I have been soul searching. My own soul. It was visible to others but it was not visible to me. I have searched everywhere for it.
I can minister to other people's souls and people have always sought me out. I enjoy listening to them and sending them on their way with a kind word or a smile. Everyone, everywhere needs a kind word or a smile now and then. But with that said, I did not minister my own soul or my heart the way I should have. I would never listen to the small quiet voice in my head that asks me what would DebraAnn like to do with her life? What does her intuition tell her to do? Where does her heart lead? Frankly silence and me are not very familiar with each other. I can meditate to mantras and music but have a hard time meditating to nothing.
Here I am embarking on a second or third chapter in my life and I am learning that I have to do this one my own. I have to listen to my soul and my heart and have them convince my head of my next step. At least the pure panic has subsided and hopefully as I unclutter my outer world clutter and my emotional clutter all that will be left will be the things and a purpose made specially for me.
I have found a soul that listens to my heart and ministers to it. It tells me that it loves me, it tells me to believe in my dreams, it tells me to listen to the music I love, to embroider which I love, and to be true to myself while my life changes. And to get rid of all this clutter that makes it impossible to move forward. The soul is always there when I am peaceful. Which I have to admit is not often enough lately.
But the soul also says I need silence to figure out which direction I should go and what direction my heart needs to go. So I'm thinking of taking it's advice and quieting down a bit more then I have been, I think at this particular time of my life I can't really afford to make mistakes which could keep my soul lost for who knows how much longer. So while the panic has subsided and I'm moving forward I'm going to lose myself in hand embroidery and uncluttering myself instead of getting lost everywhere else. I can't seem to find my way out of a paper bag lately. See you soon. Blessings to you.
PS this is my only blog post for the day.