Thursday, June 21, 2012

Anabora, Goddess of Darkness and Light

This is Anabora.  She is my Goddess.  I hand embroidered her two or three years ago and she sat folded up in my drawer for a couple of years until a few months ago when I framed her and hung her on my wall.  She represents the dreams I let go of while I searched for a way to express myself as a mere mortal scarred by loss. She is my goddess of the dark bringing light where ever she can.

A lot of water has gone under the bridge and a lot of time has been lost. Somewhere in the last few months, Anabora has emerged from her slumber and healed the wounds of a wounded child.  It's not that the wounded child does not feel, perhaps it is that she feels too much.

When you lose something as a child that you can't replace, you lose your trajectory.  You suffer such a profound loss and absorb the feelings of the adults around you.Whatever your dreams were before that day, they become lost.  And you spend the rest of your life searching for them.  One day something inspires you and you start to find your path again.  You awaken your sleeping Goddess and you start to appreciate the gifts you were given when God took something so very important away.

All of our lives are filled with loss.  Every single person has dealt with loss and has lost a little piece of themselves. When it happens as a child you lose the ability to dream.  You put on a happy face to make the wounded adults around you smile and you lose yourself. The gift is that you find the ability to be compassionate , kind, loving and open to other people's pain.  You sense loss and loneliness in people even if you barely know them.

I am one of those people.   I can feel the loneliness and sorrow of people who have lost one too many souls in their lives.  I can see it in their eyes.  Where there is a need I fill it.  All my life,  I have had a way of attracting wounded people all my life. I think of it as a blessing.  I have met the most remarkable people in my life by just being open to someone else's pain.  To feel their sorrows.  I never went to college,  I am not a licensed therapist which is a blessing.  But sometimes a compassionate ear means so much more to a person then an hour on a therapist's couch. There is such a stigma about mental health  and the feeling that people might feel sorry for you God forbid  Those fears sometimes mean that a person will never admit they need the help of a trained professional

Now I am ready to claim Anabora and reclaim my dreams.  I am that goddess, Anabora the goddess of the night who tries to provide a little light in a world of darkness.  I understand light and I understand darkness as you cannot have one without the other.  We are only mere mortals and our lives are touched by as much by our losses as by our successes.

Please remember life is too short, appreciate the people in your lives while they are living.  It doesn't take any more time to be kind and compassionate then it does to be rude and condescending.  If someone is grieving or heartbroken don't tell them to get over it.  I'm sure they would do if they could, nobody wants to walk around in sorrow and anguish no matter what those self help books tell you.  Grief has no timetable sometimes you just get stuck there and you can't get out.  If you feel so overburdened by your losses that you feel like you can't get up in the morning go find a trained professional to talk to.  The people who love us don't need another loss in their lives.

Kiss your children, pet your dog, love yourself and remember you are not alone.

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