I believe there is a God that watches over us or more aptly a universe that watches over us. I believe everything happens for a reason. I believe in synchronicity. I believe in a purpose for all of us. I believe in the powers of a dream. I believe in soul mates. I really believe in the power of the soul.
I have read many spiritual books and truly believe in the power of something greater then ourselves. Right now at this time in my life I wish I didn't have so many beliefs because I think my journey would be a lot easier. If I could just take my beliefs and feelings and lock them in a safe somewhere until I get my human life squared away, I and just about everyone I know would be a lot happier(or perhaps not).
For the last few months I have been going through a spiritual awakening that has been both beautiful and frightening. It feels like everything about DebraAnn before is somehow different and it scares me to death. I know that my chakras are clear, that I can meditate and find myself in a beautiful forest. I know my heart and my head feel like they are loved. I know that my biggest obstacle to getting what I want in life is myself. I know all these things and yet I still cannot seem to get back to the DebraAnn of old. I've lost a bit of my spark and replaced it with lit chakras. Now I guess I have to find the spark and still continue to live with the chakras. I didn't really understand how chakras and meditation and that particular aspect of spirituality worked until I rid myself of childhood trauma and actually had nothing left in my head except now. Clearing your chakras is an amazing experience, it fills you with so much peace at least for a little while anyway.
Now has been a little scary, I have seen the best and worst in other people and myself. I have had to learn to accept that I am not all sweetness and light and that nobody else is either. I've had to learn that when you are a talker you make people worry. People do a lot of crazy things in their lives and keep them secret, as I'm sure you've noticed, I'm not one who can keep her own secrets. I'm an open book which has left me looking like a crazy person to everyone except my therapist and psychiatrist(that's what happens when you follow a truck on the highway).
Still I am going through the most profoundly spiritual experience in a life where I believe in this stuff. If I didn't believe it I wouldn't live where I live, I wouldn't be an artist, I wouldn't have made some of the pieces I've made which just popped into my head. Most of my work just pops into my head and I've noticed lately that a lot of my work is religious or spiritual iconography. I've also noticed that just about all of the music I listen to is also laden with spiritual iconography. I am a spiritual being lost in the body of a ADHD adult. My thoughts race and then I close my eyes and get rid of them and I can go to heaven for a few moments.
I guess I'm writing this because I'm sure I'm not the only one experiencing these kind of moments. I wanted people who believe in what they can't see as much as what they can, the knowledge that they are not alone. We are all connected on some giant circular thing called the universe. The lord and the universe work in mysterious ways and maybe that is the lesson of life itself, that we have to believe in the mystery as much as we believe in the monotony of normal life.
I also wrote this post to allow everyone who knows me just a wee bit of why I believe the things I do. I was brought up to be open-minded and my mother was very intellectual and researched a lot of interesting beliefs herself. One of my biggest beliefs is that she is still with my whenever I need her and I think she visited me last week after a particularly difficult time and chakra clearing. I also know that there are lights in all of the family occasion photos that happened after her death. The lights are always situated where my mother would have been standing at the moment. I know she was with me then and she is with me now. Now I know that probably just lost a few more readers but it is how I feel and what I believe.
Now don't get me wrong I don't judge people who don't believe the way I do, everyone has their own free will and their own interpretation of how their life works. This is just my journey and my life and what I believe in. So blessings to you I hope your good moments outweigh your bad, that I haven't offended anyone with my beliefs and that I haven't alienated anyone else.
What do you believe in? And you can just comment anonymously if that's what you need to do to keep your secret. Thanks in advance.