In the middle of the night the soul screams out for whatever it is that is missing during the daylight hours, be it love, peace, or just a simple kind of understanding of our human condition. The screams are the things I remember the most from my stay in the hospital. They were scary at the time but now they fill me with peace and understanding, that in those early morning hours, souls were reaching out to one another and reminding me that I was not alone.
The absence of a hospital doesn’t really make the screams go away, we just scream in our dreams, or to the moon. Howling at the moon is a way of our soul asking for the love that is just beyond reach in our self. The middle of the night is when we are most honest about what we want, what we don’t want and why we are here. It is a time to show strength and peace and unconditional love to ourselves. It is a time to make peace with our life.
The hand embroidered Scream came about in the middle of the night. It was started the night after I went to my old house and realized Debra didn’t live there anymore. There was such an emptiness of feeling and sorrow that my life did not belong there. It was a feeling of regret that I could not make my marriage work and that I did not feel the love that was present earlier. It was no one’s fault but that does not make that painful empty feeling go away. I guess we all have to deal with that feeling that something has fundamentally changed and we are not able to look at the world, our world, the same way anymore. That prompted the Scream.
The Scream seems to have made me come to terms with the past and that it is over and it is now time to begin again and rise up from the ashes and start over. I guess what I’m trying to say is that now that the pain of the past has come to a head it is time to figure out a new narrative that more authentically reflects who I am and what I want out of life. It is time to be the person I want to be. It is time to let my soul scream out for love and find the questions and answers that lead me on a quest of who and what I want to become. I want to be strong and peaceful and loving and howl love songs at the moon. I want to be an artist and a writer and it is time to just be an artist and a writer (and an Indian chief). It’s time to scream a song of peace in the middle of the night because the days are so awesome.
Art has such a wonderful capacity to make us deal with our issues in a healing and peaceful way (especially if you hand embroider your art). Please find an artistic outlet for yourself that allows you to find peace when you are tempted to howl at the moon and remember that howling is your soul looking for the person you want to be when you are awake. Find your art, find your peace, and find love. Howl love songs.