Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Spring Tree

Yes I know that it is fall but somehow a spring tree is where my head is today. Spring is a time of new beginnings.  A break with the past, a sprouting of new ideas and new attitudes. So for just this one moment on this one day it is spring.  I am filled with the possibilities of a life lived my own way.  I'm not sure it will stick or work but I do know I'm going to try to make my dreams a reality. 

For the last few months I've been trying to find a way to escape reality.  Traveling down south which was just wonderful.  The food, the sun, the people.  Mostly the food, I went with my cousin who loves to eat and she converted me to the foodie way of life.  I've had lots of wonderful visitors too who reminded me of all the fun I can have here.  Mostly I've been trying to find a new man in my life, one to replace the imaginary one and to make me forget the mess my marriage was before it ended.  Not doing so well on that count and maybe that's a blessing.  I've come to realize better to find yourself before you find a man otherwise you will just find somebody as conflicted as you are.

So now it is back to the drawing board, I am going to embroider my way out of this.  I embroidered this crazy cocoon I can embroider myself out of it.  I know my blog is not your ordinary embroidery blog and I tried to keep my feelings and stories to myself but it just didn't work.  I wrote nothing, I filtered myself so much I couldn't write a word so if you don't like reading my blog, don't read it. 

I'm complicated and hand embroidery is how I keep myself sane.  It is my antidepressant.  I'm also going to reintroduce happy bags bag into my life and hopefully I can find people who find joy in what I do.  I wish I were a nurse or a self help guru or somebody who could save the world but all I  am is a simple hand embroidery/fiber artist who is trying to find her way out of mental illness and a life of trauma without drugs. Up until the last year and a half I thought I was a light so perhaps by going backwards a bit I can find the light and share it again. 

I hope you have a great day and stay tuned.  I am reopening my Etsy shop for real, but I do have responsibilities in the real world that I must attend to first.  Have a great day, a spring day in the early days of fall.

P.S.  If anything I write about my own life makes even one person out there feel less alone than I have done my job here on earth.  We are all mirrors of each other and we all must learn to shine.