The Space Between

The Space Between is where you’ll find me if I get to go.  What does that actually mean?  To me it means the somewhat more focused spot in the center of the swirling chaos of threads and life.  I’ve been meditating a lot lately and I can find complete and utter peace somewhere in the middle of my meditation and then I open my eyes.  This piece was very meditative.  It was made during a very chaotic time of worry about where I fit in the world. I’m still not exactly sure but I’m moving in the right direction.

I had a very traumatic childhood and meditation has brought a lot of the trauma hidden under the surface up to the top.  So many things I didn’t really remember that have given me a lifetime of shame and self esteem problems.  An underlying sadness stuck between the beautiful optimistic smile other people see.  What that has done has reminded me that for most of my life I’ve been waiting for the other shoe to drop afraid of my shadows.  There is nothing hidden anymore I have remembered the worst and have banished it from my mind.

But that has left a void, an empty space which I have to fill pretty quickly or I will end up in yet another crisis.  It also has given me a great amount of gratitude and love for the people who traveled with me during those dark days and the dark days that followed in my life.  They are the reason I’m alive.  I have had lots of angels in my life loving me and protecting me.  I am thankful for all of them.

If I could just say something about children, we live in very chaotic times, very traumatic times.  We kind of have to remember that although we are able to process these times our children may not and it may live within them their entire lives also.  Love your kids and more importantly let them know they are loved.  My mother was wonderful at letting me and my brother know that we mattered.  That is probably why we are survivors.  Nobody is perfect, no life is perfect let them know that to.  But being able to love people for who they are not what we wish them to be is a gift my childhood also gave me.

And then there is the embroidery, the one constant in my life.  Maybe one of several constants but I digress.  It is very meditative for me.  It allows me to shut out the noise from my very noisy mind and try to create something beautiful out of the chaos.  To put away the fear that my world will come crashing down again.  If you like this piece you can find it on my Etsy shop.
www.etsy.com/shop/debstangledstitches