Tangled Stitch

This is a snippet of a piece I am working on now.   It is called Changing Directions, it is piece comprised of chain stitches and French knots.   I’ll share when it’s finished.   It’s been a really long time hasn’t it been?   Maybe you’ve noticed, maybe you haven’t?   Either way it’s time I try to make my dreams come true.   I gave up clear and simple.   I gave up.   I thought I wasn’t a good enough writer and I couldn’t find the words to write anymore.   Very clear and very simple.   Yesterday I went to see Kathy at the Katbird Shop and realized just how much work I produced when I believed I could be an artist, before the divorce, before starting to worry about the future all the time.   It was so much easier to embroider all the time when I wanted to escape, now that I’m free not so easy.   One thing about security besides sometimes feeling like you are in a prison it makes it easy to escape into wh...

Hi All!  It's holiday season and I have been working on ornaments and other things for a while so this piece has been sitting waiting for me.  Every once in a while I would look at it and it would beckon me.  Put whatever you are doing on the backburner and come back to me.  It seems to be a metaphor for my life and myself at the moment.  Put whatever you are doing on a backburner and figure out what direction you are going in. This piece brings me peace and joy when I work at it. It silences my mind and makes me believe I'm on a path, on the road.  The rest of my life fills me with questions?  What is my worth?    Will I always be alone?  Will I figure out a way to make money?  Will I finally figure out the road I am supposed to be traveling and where that road is?  I still don't have any answers so therefore anxiety.  The one thing I do know is that I want to fill my life with beauty, peace and love.  How I am...

Yes I know that it is fall but somehow a spring tree is where my head is today. Spring is a time of new beginnings.  A break with the past, a sprouting of new ideas and new attitudes. So for just this one moment on this one day it is spring.  I am filled with the possibilities of a life lived my own way.  I'm not sure it will stick or work but I do know I'm going to try to make my dreams a reality.  For the last few months I've been trying to find a way to escape reality.  Traveling down south which was just wonderful.  The food, the sun, the people.  Mostly the food, I went with my cousin who loves to eat and she converted me to the foodie way of life.  I've had lots of wonderful visitors too who reminded me of all the fun I can have here.  Mostly I've been trying to find a new man in my life, one to replace the imaginary one and to make me forget the mess my marriage was before it ended.  Not doing so well on that count and ma...

I don't seem to be in much control of my life at the moment, the high point of my day was seeing my beautiful son unexpectedly on my walk through my old neighborhood, but yesterday I set a goal to fill in the pond on this piece and accomplished it late last night.  This morning  I wrote a poem to accompany it so here it is. The Pond The pond is shiny and bright, Carefully reflecting, the early morning light. Peaceful and tranquil it winds through its day, Barely a ripple can ruin its sway. Fish are swimming, living life in the pond, They never really wonder, what lies beyond. Lilies take root, growing past their borders, They are joining other lilies, in the beautiful tranquil waters. A duck flies by and takes a swim, It is a beautiful pond just waiting for him. Inviting and lovely it calls my name, When you look at the beauty it’s really a shame. I live so far away from a pond don’t you know, I hope someday to find one nearby where I can go...

The Walk Walking past a house, a house I used to call home, I am strangely finding peace. Seeing the friend I surely lost, friends again if only for a moment, I am strangely finding peace. The thought that time has moved on, the familiar is now not quite so familiar. I am strangely finding peace. Time heals all wounds or perhaps pain subsides over time. I am strangely finding peace. Who knows what tomorrow brings, a new walk, some new feelings, But for the moment I am strangely finding peace.

January 13, 2013 and February 22, 2013 Because I have outed myself as a hand embroidery artist and a writer I have been feeling quite down on myself lately because I have not figured out how to make a living doing what I love, berating myself for not working and writing my blog more.   For a while to me anyway it seemed I was more interested in the pie than anything else so much though I thought of changing my blog to a food blog.   But when you move to a quiet little town in the middle of the winter you have to invent places to go to see people and what better way than eating, so a couple of weeks ago I decided to stop eating my way through Cambridge and start working.   That made it easier and also harder because than I had to produce something.   I work so much better with music blaring in my eardrums but my inner critic wanted me to figure myself out so I sometimes labored and I do mean labored through my work thinking I was stuck so far in...

The stitch is a bit tangled lately and needs to focus more on what’s important.   She’s really let the things that matter most in her life take a back seat lately.   It’s not that I’m not working.   I’ve written a couple of poems and songs that may or may not see the light of day.   I’ve started a few projects which may or may not see the light of day.   The problem is I am having an issue sticking with just one project long enough to finish anything even the smallest piece. I’ve moved into a new apartment, leased a new car($250.00 worth of gas in December was just too much), almost gotten a divorce but still feel like I’m stuck in a hole waiting to get out.   I guess big changes mean big doubts and a conscious effort to remember to do what you love at least for a short part of the day.   I still think I want to go back to school and may need to get a job but can’t seem to focus on which of those options is the best idea so at the moment I’m s...

The Scream In the middle of the night the soul screams out for whatever it is that is missing during the daylight hours, be it love, peace, or just a simple kind of understanding of our human condition.   The screams are the things I remember the most from my stay in the hospital.   They were scary at the time but now they fill me with peace and understanding, that in those early morning hours, souls were reaching out to one another and reminding me that I was not alone. The absence of a hospital doesn’t really make the screams go away, we just scream in our dreams, or to the moon.   Howling at the moon is a way of our soul asking for the love that is just beyond reach in our self.   The middle of the night is when we are most honest about what we want, what we don’t want and why we are here.   It is a time to show strength and peace and unconditional love to ourselves.   It is a time to make peace with our life. The hand embroidered Screa...